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OH MY GOSH! I have therapy tomorrow … and everything is … FINE!
What am I going to do? What am I going to talk about? Are we going to just sit and stare at each other in SILENCE, with that annoying clock ticking like it’s judging me? Is she going to think I’m wasting her time? Should I cancel? HELP!
Why You Shouldn’t Cancel Your Therapy Appointment
Maybe you’ve had this experience. You’ve been in therapy for a while, and things are going well. You’re comfortable (or at least less uncomfortable) with the vulnerability required. You notice you’re able to “settle in” more quickly, and you’ve even worked through some tough stuff.
Sometimes, you can’t wait to dive into something that happened during the week. But then, the unthinkable happens: NOTHING. You have a week where nothing noteworthy happens. Even your boss hasn’t been annoying. Nothing is rolling around in your mind begging to be discussed.
It’s the day before your therapy appointment, and you’re wondering whether to cancel or show up with nothing to talk about. So, what do you do? Here’s my advice: DO NOT CANCEL THAT APPOINTMENT!
Why Having “Nothing to Talk About” in Therapy Can Lead to Breakthroughs
First, let me explain. Many people come into my office apologetic about having nothing to talk about. They feel bad or guilty, thinking they’re wasting my time. But here’s my side: your therapy session is your time, reserved for working with you, no matter what. I’ve never thought, “Wow, I wish someone with bigger problems was here right now.”
There’s no reason to feel guilty about showing up to your therapy appointment. It’s perfectly normal for there to be ebbs and flows in therapy, just like in life. Sometimes, it feels like we’re tackling big things and there’s a ton of growth. Other times, we might feel stuck, talking about the same thing without much movement. This can be frustrating, but I’m here with you as long as it takes.
And sometimes, there’s just not much going on outside of therapy, making it feel like there’s nothing to talk about. But this is where the magic happens!
The Power of Silence in Therapy: Unlocking Deep Insights and Transformative Healing
When it feels like there’s nothing to talk about, there is usually more silence. While therapy is often called “talk therapy,” silence allows for shared space that can be therapeutic in itself. It enables presence, a powerful, beyond-words connection.
When we allow ourselves to just be together, something that needs to be addressed can emerge—memories, new perspectives, insights. This can sound scary because we’re used to constant stimulation, but it can be profoundly calming.
There have been times when I’ve sat with patients in silence, and we’ve both felt something indescribable and beautiful. Sometimes, this leads to patients uncovering deep-seated beliefs and dismantling them, which feels like watching someone solve a complex equation.
This is magic. It happens when there’s silence, a strong therapeutic alliance, and no immediate crises to address. In this space, underlying issues can emerge and be addressed, freeing you from their unseen power. And that is truly magical.